This was a pretty unique movie. Lots of great ideas used really well. It definitely opens lots of possibilities and they play around with a lot of them.
Our adventure begins with Mel Gibson fleeing the cops with millions of dollars. He manages to get across the border, but some dirty Mexican cops arrest him when they see the cash. He gets thrown into one of the best settings ever after that. A prison that is pretty much just a walled city run by a ganglord.
Gibson befriends a kid that the ganglord protects and his mom. It turns out that the kid is protected because he's the only one with blood type as the ganglord, and the ganglord needs a liver. Before he can help them there is a shootout between the ganglord's thugs and some goons hired by the guy Gibson robbed.
This escapade causes the prison to get shut down. Meaning the ganglird is gonna collect the kid's liver. Mel gets to them during the raid and gets the money in addition to saving the family. He then retires on the beach with them.
Credits.
A very Hollywood ending, but man was this a ride. There is always something happening, but it never gets confusing! There's so much I didn't even write it all!
Great child character, the are decent but cliché
Awesome plot
Terrific ideas
8/10
This is a slice of movie that's very much it's own thing. A gripping unique movie with some great settings and environments that is a fun watch I highly recommend!
Friday, September 25, 2015
Friday, September 18, 2015
Signs: Fight Thinking with Overthinking
Screw gimmicks, I'll just use a format the suits what I find most compelling.
Signs. Critics and many others call it stupid because they can spot "plot holes." However when you dig deeper those complaints are easily shot down. So let's shoot down nitpicks and wrap up with some pretentiousness.
Why would they go to a planet of mostly water if they're allergic? Desperation can make you do anything. But a better argument comes from humanity. We're trying to colonize Mars. It has no oxygen or life, the water is all frozen, and the atmosphere literally boils our blood. If these aliens are stupid then so is NASA.
Wouldn't water in the air effect them?
This is pretty legitimate. It might be that it's only liquid water that hurts them. Maybe the water isn't what hurts them but something in it. The towns water might be contaminated with something that doesn't hurt Earth creatures. But I can understand this gripe.
Doors stop them? More developed civilizations have physically weaker citizens. A caveman could take ten guys from today. Additional, the people we send to space are scientists, not SWAT teams, they're not trained to kick down doors. Aside from that the alien just looks scrawny. He got his fingers cut off last time he was behind a door. But let's say he is fit. If he broke down the barricade his shoulder would be bruised and broken. We never see him with a battering ram. Why destroy your other shoulder if you could wait them out.
Where's their technology? It might be that they don't find weapons necessary if they have poisonous fingers.
People are nonchalant about aliens. Shyamalan is probably shell-shocked from seeing the thing in his house, and he is guilt ridden from smoking Gibson's wife. And Gibson hates the world, so it's understandable that he wouldn't care if it's invaded. Everyone else is paranoid and afraid.
In terms of pacing and style that's all subjective. If you don't like it you don't like it, and that's alright if you hate it for that. But it's not useless garbage. Tone shifts dramatically at the end, making it clear that the movie reflects Mel's attitude. Characters might have actually acted differently, but the movie is from Mel's point of view, so it's his perception we see.
Good build-up
Flawed and quirky characters
Original take on alien invasion
Heavily stylized
9/10 I'm in the "love it" crowd
Ultimately this movie is a very love it or hate it flick. I love it and if you don't that's cool. But don't act like it's stupid, because it is pretty smart if you think about it.
Signs. Critics and many others call it stupid because they can spot "plot holes." However when you dig deeper those complaints are easily shot down. So let's shoot down nitpicks and wrap up with some pretentiousness.
Why would they go to a planet of mostly water if they're allergic? Desperation can make you do anything. But a better argument comes from humanity. We're trying to colonize Mars. It has no oxygen or life, the water is all frozen, and the atmosphere literally boils our blood. If these aliens are stupid then so is NASA.
Wouldn't water in the air effect them?
This is pretty legitimate. It might be that it's only liquid water that hurts them. Maybe the water isn't what hurts them but something in it. The towns water might be contaminated with something that doesn't hurt Earth creatures. But I can understand this gripe.
Doors stop them? More developed civilizations have physically weaker citizens. A caveman could take ten guys from today. Additional, the people we send to space are scientists, not SWAT teams, they're not trained to kick down doors. Aside from that the alien just looks scrawny. He got his fingers cut off last time he was behind a door. But let's say he is fit. If he broke down the barricade his shoulder would be bruised and broken. We never see him with a battering ram. Why destroy your other shoulder if you could wait them out.
Where's their technology? It might be that they don't find weapons necessary if they have poisonous fingers.
People are nonchalant about aliens. Shyamalan is probably shell-shocked from seeing the thing in his house, and he is guilt ridden from smoking Gibson's wife. And Gibson hates the world, so it's understandable that he wouldn't care if it's invaded. Everyone else is paranoid and afraid.
In terms of pacing and style that's all subjective. If you don't like it you don't like it, and that's alright if you hate it for that. But it's not useless garbage. Tone shifts dramatically at the end, making it clear that the movie reflects Mel's attitude. Characters might have actually acted differently, but the movie is from Mel's point of view, so it's his perception we see.
Good build-up
Flawed and quirky characters
Original take on alien invasion
Heavily stylized
9/10 I'm in the "love it" crowd
Ultimately this movie is a very love it or hate it flick. I love it and if you don't that's cool. But don't act like it's stupid, because it is pretty smart if you think about it.
Friday, September 11, 2015
The Patriot: Roland Emmerich Can't Fail
I really like Roland Emmerich. So much so that I'll try out a new way of review. I'm gonna review it in three parts: I'll review act I before watching act II, act II before act III, then the whole movie. Now let's hop in.
From the get go this is better than Braveheart. Our hero is Mel Gibson because I forgot his character's name. He runs a plantation with his family and black people who aren't slaves. In addition he refuses to vote pro war against Britain because he feels it'd be wrong since he won't fight. That is unrealistically nice for the 1770s, but Roland understands that if the movie won't question the righteousness of the character the audience shouldn't either. When the game changing death occurs it isn't some lady we bearly know getting her throat cut off-screen, but his son we know a bit about getting shot. On-screen. And dying in Mel Gibson's arms. Because that's a motivation. He does flip in the upcoming skirmish and butchers the last dude with a tomahawk. The trick is that the tone is shocked, not cheering, the music slows, things go quiet, his kids are disturbed, and he realizes it was excessive. That's enough for me not to think he's a completely psychotic maniac. But will this change? We'll see.
Another thing this has over Braveheart is the fact that the Americans die in action scenes, it's hard to buy a struggling war when you never lose. Brutality on both sides is shown and the tone always treats it as evil regardless of the side doing it. Eventually Mel's son Gabe convinces him to stop with the unnecessary bloodshed. When something is decided in this movie it sticks with it. It even shows that the British condemn the savage methods used by one of their rambunctious colonels. The Americans clearly depicted as the good guys, but I respect that the British get a fair shake.
Well dang. I knew Gabriel's girlfriend would die when they got married but I didn't think Rambunctious Colonel would lock her and others in church and burn it down! For the record, it was the villains that did this, because burning people alive is evil, and you can't really root for that. Gabriel catches up to Rambunctious Colonel while he's cosplaying as Samurai Cop. Rambunctious Colonel goes to town with his sword and ends up killing Gabe. When Mel finds him he has a minor stroke then cries. The final battle is quite terrific. Gibson and Rambunctious Colonel throw down, but unlike Lethal Weapon where there's guys just watching, the extras in the background are engaged in battle. Epic finishing line. America. Credits.
Great Characters
Both sides are 3 dimensional
Best cinematic musket gunplay
Portrays immoral actions as bad
Roland Emmerich morals
9/10 Flawless
It's the American Revolution directed by Roland Emmerich. That about sums it up.
From the get go this is better than Braveheart. Our hero is Mel Gibson because I forgot his character's name. He runs a plantation with his family and black people who aren't slaves. In addition he refuses to vote pro war against Britain because he feels it'd be wrong since he won't fight. That is unrealistically nice for the 1770s, but Roland understands that if the movie won't question the righteousness of the character the audience shouldn't either. When the game changing death occurs it isn't some lady we bearly know getting her throat cut off-screen, but his son we know a bit about getting shot. On-screen. And dying in Mel Gibson's arms. Because that's a motivation. He does flip in the upcoming skirmish and butchers the last dude with a tomahawk. The trick is that the tone is shocked, not cheering, the music slows, things go quiet, his kids are disturbed, and he realizes it was excessive. That's enough for me not to think he's a completely psychotic maniac. But will this change? We'll see.
Another thing this has over Braveheart is the fact that the Americans die in action scenes, it's hard to buy a struggling war when you never lose. Brutality on both sides is shown and the tone always treats it as evil regardless of the side doing it. Eventually Mel's son Gabe convinces him to stop with the unnecessary bloodshed. When something is decided in this movie it sticks with it. It even shows that the British condemn the savage methods used by one of their rambunctious colonels. The Americans clearly depicted as the good guys, but I respect that the British get a fair shake.
Well dang. I knew Gabriel's girlfriend would die when they got married but I didn't think Rambunctious Colonel would lock her and others in church and burn it down! For the record, it was the villains that did this, because burning people alive is evil, and you can't really root for that. Gabriel catches up to Rambunctious Colonel while he's cosplaying as Samurai Cop. Rambunctious Colonel goes to town with his sword and ends up killing Gabe. When Mel finds him he has a minor stroke then cries. The final battle is quite terrific. Gibson and Rambunctious Colonel throw down, but unlike Lethal Weapon where there's guys just watching, the extras in the background are engaged in battle. Epic finishing line. America. Credits.
Great Characters
Both sides are 3 dimensional
Best cinematic musket gunplay
Portrays immoral actions as bad
Roland Emmerich morals
9/10 Flawless
It's the American Revolution directed by Roland Emmerich. That about sums it up.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Braveheart: the Highlight Real is Better
This movie is a portrait of peaks and valleys. What works is pretty good, but the stuff that doesn't really doesn't.
Our hero is William Wallace, a real historical figure that fought for Scottish independence in med While he was a extraordinary dude, you can see by looking at a map of Europe, he did not succeed.
But on to the movie. Wallace doesn't actually fight the British until that one day when everything changed... When the British killed his wife! Historically Wallace did start fighting after his girlfriend was killed by Brits, but the movie doesn't do anything with it. She just gets killed. It's not even graphic, she gets her throat cut, and the camera avoids her gore. It'll show generic troops that are just doing their job get gruesomely massacred, but the death that's supposed to haunt us and get us to get 100% behind Wallace is just glossed over. Credit where it's do, the executioner died the same way Wallace's wife did. I can always get behind that.
If it went straight action and Scottish patriotism from there, there'd still be problems but it'd be pretty good. What shoots this movie in the foot is how it frequently stops to show us the English nobles talking. It's so very boring and only serves to remind us that the British king is a short-tempered angry little buttstamp.
The action consists of Scots killing Brits. The only time Scots die is in an arrow barrage. That doesn't help me root for Wallace, the British look helpless, they get perpetually owned. It doesn't hurt that Wallace and his men get more sadistic as the movie goes on. They go as far as to lock troops in a house and burn it down. I can forgive it during the battle right after his wife died, but after 90 minutes they look like ruthless savages.
The motivation is unbearably cliché and too flimsy to justify 3 hours of slaughtering incompetent cannon fodder. The pacing is erratic and can kill a mood. However when Wallace gives a speech, or it delves into patriotism it can rile you up for the upcoming battle. Robert the Bruce, Hamish, and Stephen were great characters. And the last 20 minutes were amazing! Ultimately when something worked it was flawless. Unfortunately the stuff that didn't was either a slog or takes you out of it. If this movie were chopped down to an hour of the good stuff, it'd be a glorious experience. But it isn't. It's got gold buried in a lot of mud.
Cliché motivation
Lackluster turning point
Overpowered heroes
Underpowered villains
Dull main characters
Good side characters
Epic ending
Classic quote
7/10 Mixed Bag
There is some REALLY good stuff here but there is so much meh between it.
Our hero is William Wallace, a real historical figure that fought for Scottish independence in med While he was a extraordinary dude, you can see by looking at a map of Europe, he did not succeed.
But on to the movie. Wallace doesn't actually fight the British until that one day when everything changed... When the British killed his wife! Historically Wallace did start fighting after his girlfriend was killed by Brits, but the movie doesn't do anything with it. She just gets killed. It's not even graphic, she gets her throat cut, and the camera avoids her gore. It'll show generic troops that are just doing their job get gruesomely massacred, but the death that's supposed to haunt us and get us to get 100% behind Wallace is just glossed over. Credit where it's do, the executioner died the same way Wallace's wife did. I can always get behind that.
If it went straight action and Scottish patriotism from there, there'd still be problems but it'd be pretty good. What shoots this movie in the foot is how it frequently stops to show us the English nobles talking. It's so very boring and only serves to remind us that the British king is a short-tempered angry little buttstamp.
The action consists of Scots killing Brits. The only time Scots die is in an arrow barrage. That doesn't help me root for Wallace, the British look helpless, they get perpetually owned. It doesn't hurt that Wallace and his men get more sadistic as the movie goes on. They go as far as to lock troops in a house and burn it down. I can forgive it during the battle right after his wife died, but after 90 minutes they look like ruthless savages.
The motivation is unbearably cliché and too flimsy to justify 3 hours of slaughtering incompetent cannon fodder. The pacing is erratic and can kill a mood. However when Wallace gives a speech, or it delves into patriotism it can rile you up for the upcoming battle. Robert the Bruce, Hamish, and Stephen were great characters. And the last 20 minutes were amazing! Ultimately when something worked it was flawless. Unfortunately the stuff that didn't was either a slog or takes you out of it. If this movie were chopped down to an hour of the good stuff, it'd be a glorious experience. But it isn't. It's got gold buried in a lot of mud.
Cliché motivation
Lackluster turning point
Overpowered heroes
Underpowered villains
Dull main characters
Good side characters
Epic ending
Classic quote
7/10 Mixed Bag
There is some REALLY good stuff here but there is so much meh between it.
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Change of Plans
September is still Mel Gibson month, but I won't be reviewing Mad Max 2. The Road Warrior is currently my favorite movie. Ever. But there isn't much to say about it. There's the not so subtle subtext on pollution and oil dependence and some amazing action. It isn't slowed down by exposition and is stellar at visual storytelling. But I found a Mel Gibson movie that might make for a more... "interesting" ride. I recently found a movie called "Get the Gringo," and I can't not do a review on something called that!
Dying Light Lockpicking Trick That Legitimately Works!
When you screw up your controller vibrates. But the trick is: Only one half of the controller vibrates! Push the pin that way and it's easier than ever!
For example: The right handle vibrates when you have the straight up, you spin the pin to the right and try again. It's halfway open when the left handle vibrates. Push the pin a little to the left and bam! Lockpicking is beyond easy with this trick!
For example: The right handle vibrates when you have the straight up, you spin the pin to the right and try again. It's halfway open when the left handle vibrates. Push the pin a little to the left and bam! Lockpicking is beyond easy with this trick!
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